Thursday, September 03, 2015

MOOM PITCHER REVIEW! SEX KITTENS GO TO COLLEGE starring Mamie Van Doren, Tuesday Weld and Mirjanou Bardot (Allied Artists, 1960)

If you like your moom pitcher entertainment typically early sixties non-sophisticado fun-like, then you'll probably enjoy this one more'n Bowlsley Cowper did. Mamie Van Doren's at her titular best (jes' a play on words---I know what "titular" means!)  in SEX KITTENS GO TO COLLEGE as this high-falutin' genius of a college professor who's hired by some podunk house of learning and sets the place on fire given her hi IQ and wow wow body. Tuesday Weld plays this co-ed who's really hot for the Big Moose-ish captain of the football team who's having a hard time cozying up to members of the lumpier sex, while Mirjanou Bardot, the original Chris Jagger, pops up (and out) as an exchange student from France who's writing a thesis on the rugged and violent Amerigan male and meets up with this dunce-ish thug who's on the lookout for "Thinko". That's the college's eight-foot robot of a computer who can figure out just about anything anybody wants to know, but no way in heck could he ever have predicted Caitlyn Jenner if you want me to be all current events about it.

This moom is definitely a real hunka fun, also starring a ROUTE 66-era Martin Milner in the leading guy role they probably wanted Tab Hunter for, not forgetting Louie Nye as a skittish prof in a role that they probably wanted Byron Foulger for, and John Carradine as a horny instructor at this institute that they probably wanted John Carradine for! Jackie Coogan plays an eccentric Texan,  Charlie Chaplin Jr a fireman (it must have been part of a package deal like in the equally Mamie Van Doren-laden HIGH SCHOOL CONFIDENTIAL), Conway Twitty, and even Vampira show up in this romp that drags out all of your favorite early-sixties gags turning and plopping them all into a wildly entertaining moom that dredges up alla that sixties cool faster than you can say "Brush your breath with Dentyne!"

Yeah the snobs'll puke on it but I got a whole lotta enjoyment outta it tha equalled the time I saw Dick Clark bopping around with Ronnie Howard in BECAUSE THEY'RE YOUNG back when I was ten and thought it was way hipper and cooler than Joe Cocker doing his Muscular Distrophy routine. Great teenbo camp and jokes guaranteed to bring the gang in, and the fact that the leading femmes aren't exactly Moms Mabley also helps the B.O. quotient mighty.

Of course the BIGGEST surprise in the moom really comes at the end, when "Thinko" has a nervous breakdown and begins imagining a bevy of bouncy beauties doing some rather daring striptease with exposed jiggling mams galore as the robot pants and oohs along with a chimp in striped shirt, sunglasses and golfing pants who gets his shares of bestial moans in. Yeah, this scene only appeared in the overseas version but I sure got an eyefull (bet it re-ups my Macular Degeneration) and I positively do get the idea that a good portion of you red-blooded boys would love to this portion of the film considering that this was made at a time when during a time when ladies looked like ladies and didn't adorn their bods with tattoos and shiny doohickeys. I tell ya, experiencing a moom like this was definitely akin to watching some good ol' Walt Disney Mousekateer flick and alla a sudden Annette Funicello reveals her suckems for all to see!

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